Scotty: So, this is the relaunch of Wonder Woman. I’ve read the first four issues and I can honestly say I’m not quite sure what is going on here.

Michael: I want to look at the gay angle. There are many things about the Wonder Woman series that are gay, especially since it was written by a gay man.

Scotty: All I have to say is that I hope Allan Heinberg is better in bed then he is at writing comics. That’s my gay take on things.

Michael: About this relaunch: If they were going to start Wonder Woman over with a number one, I think a better choice for the title would have been Cavalcade of Camel Toe.

Scotty: With this relaunch comes a new look.

Michael: Let’s talk about her costume.

Scotty: First: that belt!

Michael: I like the belt.

Scotty: It’s ridiculous. If she did a stomach crunch in that thing, she would give herself an involuntary hysterectomy.

Michael: What’s confusing about this new costume is that the covers don’t make sense. The Wonder Woman on the covers has not been revealed in the stories yet.

Scotty: Another change they made in her look is that they got rid of the Phil Jimenez Jeri Curl.

Michael: She’s not the only one with changes. Dr. Psycho goes from Marty Feldman with a bad Jeri Curl to a—dare I say it?—hot little shaved-head leather-daddy.

Scotty: Who’s Marty Feldman?

Michael: He was Igor in Young Frankenstein. Is the reference too obscure?

Scotty: Yes, it is. But let’s go on.

(Editor's note: Could be worse. Could be raining!)

Michael: In Issue #2, it was hilarious when Diana says: “Giganta is wearing Donna Troy on a chain around her neck.” It’s like she’s on the Red Carpet. Can’t you hear her say: “Amazon Dopplegangers are all the rage this season! And I thought Uggs were trendy.”

Scotty: When did Diana Prince become the new Lisa Rinna?

Michael: Steve Trevor kind of looks like Robert Redford. I don’t have anything funny to say about that.

Scotty: Enough about how everyone looks! What do you think of the story?

Michael: There are so many holes in the plot that it should be printed on Swiss cheese.

Scotty: Is there anything you like about this new series?

Michael: I like Terry Dodson’s art. It looks a little rushed in some places, but I won’t really go there…

Scotty: Her villains have all been reimagined.

Michael: That’s a good concept.

Scotty: But I liked the way the villains were before. Why did they turn the Cheetah into a porno version of Hello Kitty?

Michael: I agree. How did the Cheetah go from the cover of Fangoria to the cover of Maxim?

Scotty: Diana looks like she’s gotten a boob job. So now we know what she was doing “one year later.” And her white suit and white shoes…what is going on there?

Michael: I really hate this whole white suit deal. How is this fresh? They did the “white suit” tribute when Walt Simonson and Jerry Ordway were on the series.

Scotty: Wasn’t that when she got the lesbian hairdo?

Michael: Exactly.

Scotty: The problem with Wonder Woman now is that there are too many Wonder Women running around. I mean, will somebody please kill Cassie Sandsmark already?

Michael: I hate her.

Scotty: But obviously somebody likes her. Who in America likes Cassie Sandmark?

Michael: Um...

Scotty: I’m sorry. That was a very difficult question.

Michael: Well, no one really likes her.

Scotty: Do you think people just put up with her? Like a bad waitress in a crowded restaurant?

Michael: I find her so irritating that I wouldn’t be surprised if we saw a picture of her exposed muffin in the pages of Whose Kooch in the DC Universe?

Scotty: I am surprised that they don’t have Cassie making pop albums, getting her head shaved, and dropping babies.

Michael: I think that’s what they are doing with Supergirl-–she keeps going to raves, for Christ’s sake.

Scotty: Do they still have raves? Anyway, back to a review of this storyline. So Hercules suddenly appears. What do you think of this?

Michael: So the gods abandon the human plane because they think it’s in good hands with Diana. Somehow they know she fails them. I mean, the minute they are out the door, she breaks Maxwell Lord’s neck. And the next thing you know you have Caligula (i.e., Hercules) coming back to wipe up her mess.

Scotty: She really does need to start using bigger pads.

Michael: That’s gross! And very funny.

Scotty: I have a question. If we never even knew who Wonder Woman was from the George Perez run and the Superfriends and the Lynda Carter TV show… if this was a brand new book and a brand new character, would people go for it?

Michael: I don’t think people would understand it. You have to have knowledge of the previous 10 years to have any idea of what’s going on in these issues to make sense of it.

Scotty: And even then it is only mildly entertaining. Everything happens so fast!

Michael: I did like it when Cheetah referred to Hercules as Wonder Man….that was such a verbal bitch slap. Not that his Patrick Swayze hairstyle and gladiator skirt doesn’t emasculate him enough.

Scotty: By the way, I just have to say I think that Marvel’s Wonder Man is hot.

Michael: He always seems so confident and sexy.

Scotty: Compared to the new Wonder Woman, who is now just bloated and irritable. I’m sorry, but look at her in that white suit. She’s retaining water.

Michael: And I didn’t know they made a Mom Jeans version of special agent suits.

Scotty: I did like how Circe takes away Diana’s powers.

Michael: And she did look good in the enchanted Wonder Woman outfit.

Scotty: This new Circe will be an action figure, right?

Michael: Yes, because of all the hype this bi-annual series is getting.

Scotty: What do you think Allan Heinberg is doing that he can’t meet his deadlines?

Michael: I think he’s a writer on Grey’s Anatomy …which is kind of a good excuse.

Scotty: Well, he is…but who gives a crap?

Michael: Speaking of which, it took me just a quick trip to the bathroom to read all four issues. And that was just doing #1.

Scotty: So I am going to give the first four issues of the newly relaunched Wonder Woman series a Helen Slater rating. Because no one really has any idea what’s going on, or what part they are auditioning for. (*Note: Helen Slater had no idea Linda Lee was Supergirl when she auditioned for the movie until she got the part. Even she admits that she is a retard.)

Michael: To me, these four issues sort of left me feeling like an episode of Alice where they let Linda Lavin sing. You are expecting to be wowed, and it somehow ends up falling flat.

Scotty: You know, I think it would be great if the waitresses from the TV show Alice were Diana’s new supporting cast. “There’s a new girl in town..and we don’t know who the hell she is.”

Michael: And neither does she.

Editor's note: Buy this comic here or at your local comics shop.

Michael Troy is an accomplished comic book artist and writer. Buy Michael Troy’s book HOMO-HERO’S BIG BOOK OF FUN AND ADVENTURE at Amazon.com!

Scotty Mullen is single and very easy. You can arrange a play-date with Scotty by contacting him at his myspace space

Wonder Woman Copyright © 2007 DC Comics. All Rights Reverved. Review © 2007 Michael Troy and Scotty Mullen.

Prism Comics promotes the works of the LGBT community in comics. It does not implicitly endorse any other material or products associated with those works. Any opinions expressed are those of the author(s).