I know we are getting close to Christmas, but I hope that you will still be able to get me some of the things that I want as presents. Yes, I know you have a pile of Wii's, and there are so many requests for big screen tv's that you may never catch up, but I have some other ideas for the perfect gift.

1) No more crossovers! That's right. If you could possibly extend your influence to Marvel and DC, please ask them to have no more Crisis's or Invasions. There have been too many of these the last few years, and they make titles fall into one of two categories: unreadable or unknowledgeable. Either I don't know what just happened, or I don't care. I know that I'm not the only one to feel this way, so with this request you would be able to leave home an entire sack of stocking stuffers. Tell them that before they have to work upon tearing down an entire world of heroes, let's work on making them readable in the first place!

2) No more homage covers. If I see one more cover where the heroes are all standing with their arms crossed, looking up at the 'camera', I'll scream! Send some of your elves to the cover artists to ask them to use their own imagination for once!

3) I want Tony Stark to be spanked. Hard. I'm sorry, but no matter what may happen to him, no matter how many movies they do, I think he's too smug and conceited.

4) Talk some of the comic book companies into doing more tv show continuations. Seeing Buffy, Angel and Star Trek continued from the point in which they were stopped has caused this fanboy to jump for joy, and now it's time for more of the same. There are shows like Quantum Leap, the Time Tunnel and Land of the Giants that would make fun comic books and have an entire world for writers to play with. Let's get with it!

5) I want a Cosmic Cube. Yeah, I know, having an all-powerful block would cause off of my wishes above to happen anyway. I don't care. I still want it, especially since they tend to eventually morph into all-powerful men. I wouldn't mind having a partner who can grant wishes who also has the body of the Beyonder! (Although, with my luck, he will look like Molecule Man.) I promise that I will do some selfless acts with a Cosmic Cube. I will end disease, hatred and blah blah blah. But I will definitely party my tail off too!

Thank you, Santa, for your attention on these matters. And if you want to drop by on December 26th, I might have some milk and cookies waiting for you, you happy bear you!

Mark

Mark Phillips is a comic book fan who morphed into Comixbear many years ago (more years than he usually cares to admit.) He works in the health care field and firmly believes that people who publicly complain about Spider-man's marriage but then publicly reveal his secret identity should be flogged. Comixbear can be reached at Comixbear@charter.net.

Article copyright Mark Phillips. Image copyright Glen Hanson and Allan Neuwirth.

Prism Comics promotes the works of the LGBT community in comics. It does not implicitly endorse any other material or products associated with those works. Any opinions expressed are those of the author(s).