So, what would it have been like if Orson Scott Card had written Superman in the Silver Age? Why, it would have looked something like this (scroll down!): Of course, this is an imaginary story, which may or may not ever happen!  [Continue reading...]

(Advance Warning: this article was written by a man. A gay man. One who has read all of L. Frank Baum's Oz books and enjoyed them while still understanding that they don't have the continuity of a postage stamp or the depth of a wading pool. With this in mind...enjoy!) As the parade marched by, the Munchkins raised their voices in a loud cheer. From the back of the crowd, Arka pushed up to the front so that he could join his friend Bullshwick. "Sorry I'm late, Bullshwick! What did I miss?" "Oh you just missed a high point! Dorothy just rode by! She's a general favorite!!" Now Arka was never a Munchkin to accept things without a question. "A general favorite? Why is that? What makes her so popular?" "Don't you know? Oh, many reasons! First of all, she got rid of two evil witches!!" Arka's eyebrow went down in a questioning look. "Got rid of? You mean she deported them or something?" "Well, no. She killed them." "KILLED THEM?!?!?!? Great Gods, man! You cheer a  [Continue reading...]

FROM THE DIARY OF CLARK KENT February 14, 1936 Back from the 30th Century and another adventure with my pals in the Legion. This one was a real corker. Thanks to a neat plan cooked up by Brainiac 5 and Saturn Girl, we flushed out a gang of spies who were the advance force for a planned invasion of Earth. Imra had sensed some super powered creeps were plotting against us, but they shielded their thinking before she could figure out who and where they were. She and Querl clued everybody in on their strategy, which hinged on Imra marrying Lightning Lad and Ultra Boy getting hitched to Phantom Girl. Married folks aren’t allowed in the club, so that meant they had to resign. My two buddies reckoned that the spies would apply to join the Legion to fill the vacancies. At the try outs, Chameleon Boy’s telepathic pet Proty II sensed which ones were shielding their thoughts, so we voted the phonies in and let them find the fake Plan-R for Earth’s defense, which they took back to their  [Continue reading...]

California Senate Bill 1172 is a morsel of mandate passed by the Golden State's Legislature that is currently tarnishing its weary way through the Circuit Court system. The bill, when enacted into law, will prohibit state-licensed psychiatrists from administering to underage patients "conversion therapy" which purports to change a teen's gender identity from Broadway Showtunes to Western Ballads. If the Circuit judges are searching for precedent in connecting conversion to perversion, they need look no further than the premiere of DC's Cat-Man and the pride of conversions therein. Secretly-inveterate gambler Tom (as in "tom CAT," y'dig?) Blake (as in...um) is plagued by a problem: his life as a millionaire jungle cat catcher has become sigh-enducingly boring. Since Tom-Tom lives in Gotham City, the cure for all sigh-enducing boredom is to match animal-themed wits with the municipality's pointy-eared, self-appointed protector, Batman. Of course, the Dark Knight doesn't  [Continue reading...]

It’s so awesome living in an era where technology grows and changes by the nanosecond. Everything from cellphones to televisions to high-end toilets fills me with so much fascination with the way technology has made life so much easier. I remember clearly the very first portable phone I ever owned. I bought it in 2001, right after my big California vacation, a fulfillment of a lifelong dream to visit Hollywood and rub shoulders with the rich and famous. In fact, I have one of those rich and famous people to thank for it. At the time, I was still a huge Madonna fan. She had just released one of her better albums, Music, and was kicking off her Drowned World tour to promote it. Another lifelong dream of mine had been to witness her stage production firsthand. After failing to obtain a ticket to the Chicago performance before they sold out faster than discounted poppers at a gay disco, I went online and managed to get my computer keys on a seat at the Staples Center in  [Continue reading...]

QUEER EYE ED: Hello and welcome one and all! This time out I’m bringing you up to the minute coverage of all the goings on at one of the most festive holiday events in the multiverse, the Comic Book Limbo New Year’s Eve Ball! Yes, all your favorite characters of yesteryear are here, partying like there’s no tomorrow. Of course that’s been true for some of them for over fifty years. But being frozen in time does wonders for one’s appearance, so they look just as fresh as when they first saw the light of print. How I wish you could see this gaudy, giddy assemblage! They may not exist in current continuity, but they certainly know how to shake their back number booties. Follow me as I make my way through the crowd, interviewing some of the… Oops! Pardon me, sir. I didn’t mean to bump into you. STEVE: That’s quite alright. QEE: Say, you’re Golden Age Steve Trevor! STEVE: I would say “Reporting for duty!” but we’re beyond all that  [Continue reading...]

When human disaster strikes anywhere in the world, the fallout will surely be invaded by the Salvation Army. One of the most efficient charities charitizing today, the Es-Ay can be depended on to start dispensing food, shelter, and good vibrations before FEMA even pops its first tent. The Holiday Season is when the Salvation Army's most conspicuous fundraiser efforts take shape, as nearly every urban corner all around the world is annexed by a broad-grinned, crimson-bibbed volunteer soliciting kettlecentric small change via copper-peppered soundwaves. Sometimes, these smiley soldiers hit the streets dressed as the patron saint of Gentile patronage, Santa Claus, and boy-howdy, how the donations then roll in. But don't be fooled: despite the good works, beneath that red fur beats the squirmy heart of hate. Slightly crasser organizations have also wielded Santa's rep for gregarious magnanimousness as a tool for pounding money out of marks, as evidenced by Adventure Comics  [Continue reading...]

The Setting: The bedroom of a Queer Comics Collector The Time: The wee hours of the morning on Christmas Day A distant clock strikes one as the QCC awakes with a start. QCC: Wha--what’s that? Who--who’s there?! GHOST #1: I am the Christmas Ghost of Comics Past! QCC: Come again? G1: You know, like in the classic A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. Surely you’ve heard of it! Sort of It’s a Wonderful Life with Mr. Potter as the main character. QCC: Oh yeah! But, say, shouldn’t Marley be first? G1: Our opening act? He only works the hardcore, anything-for-a-buck, amoral cases. He’s at Mitt Romney’s right now. QCC: Boy! They don’t get any tougher than that! G1: On the contrary. Next, he has to visit Dan DiDio! QCC: Ouch! G1: But, we digress. I have come to revive in you the wonder you once felt in regard to the great super-hero comic books you read as a boy. QCC: In the Silver Age? Those silly things? But, they’re so campy and  [Continue reading...]